I was wondering if anyone knew the answer to this. I keep hearing mixed things from different individuals (higher ranks are saying what I want to hear but I worry its not true). I’m a new Army wife. I’m Jewish, he’s Christian. I’m more religious than he is which is fine and he wants to celebrate the holidays with me as a family member. We recently ran into a kerfuffle on the first night of Hanukkah. The whole thing has made me wonder does he have a right to request leave for my holidays as we’ll be celebrating them as a family? His platoon sergeant did not think so, however the First Sergeant and Commander immediately allowed him to go home before sundown and apologized profusely to me for what took place. I’m just trying to figure out our rights in general so that we don’t wind up in the same situation. The platoon sergeant and his immediate sergeant are very upset because they got into a lot of trouble for denying him to miss a Christmas party so that he can celebrate shabbos and Hanukkah with his wife. This is the first time this has come up (I am bad and only do shabbos on holidays that fall on Fridays).

Thank you for anyone that has any answers. I’m trying to track down a Jewish chaplain but there is only one in the area and I refuse to speak to any other chaplains after a Protestant one on our base made anti-Semitic comments to me. My husband’s first brush with discrimination too.

You raise an interesting question.  The command will want to permit him to practice his religion.  Being with his family while they practice their religion might be seen a bit differently.  However, this is far more an issue of what’s the right thing for a leader to do than your husband’s rights.  Good leadership dictates that leaders support the family, particularly in a military overcome with constant deployments.  Furthermore, realize that many people don’t understand mixed marriages, and the demands placed on them.  This is something that often comes with experience and maturity.  Hence, one possible reason for the change in perspective as the issue was raised up the chain-of-command. 

Always keep something in mind --- it’s as much an education for leaders, as it is a learning experience for you as you encounter these challenges.  Thus, it might be helpful to approach it that way.

Hi,
I don’t know what the official policy is or even if there is one.  My first suggestion is if you haven’t been able to find a Jewish chaplain, contact West Point.  Jewish chaplains are few in the military, but one is always assigned to West Point (as well as the other military academies).

My second suggestion is to be flexible.  Your husband and you can’t expect that he can have off for both Christian and Jewish holidays.  So he’ll need to pick.  I personally don’t think that he needs to pick one religion and stick with it from there on out.  But if he wants off for Hanukah, he should expect to have to cover for Christmas.  If he wants off for Easter, then he may have work during Passover.  That is just how I think it would be fair--I have no idea what the policy might be or how different leaders will interpret it. 

It sounds like you’ve been lucky so far except for that one chaplain.  My son, a Naval officer, has encountered support for Jewish holidays in some commands and resistance in others (never from the Navy--just when part of joint ops).

Best of luck.